Accessorize

Have you ever notice a guy's accessory? I, who usually am too distracted by a witty conversation or fine abs, to notice the kind of watch a guy wears was brought to attention of the case of digital watch by a buddy. According to my buddy, a grown adult male who wears a digital watch at a social function often falls under the category of unchic geek. Agree or disagree?

Hmm...I wonder what guys think of a girl who wears studded cuff along with a strand of opera length pearls...

Say what?

Last Friday, I headed to a charity function at a local pub/club with the usual fab girls after our happy hour drinks. There we met a few new faces - friends of friend. One of the new faces, let's call him Socially Awkward Guy (that is the nicest moniker I can come up with and you will soon realize why I said "nicest"), came up to me and started a conversation which went down like this:

SAG: Hi - you look familiar to me.
BB: Oh, really? Maybe we went to the same school - which program did you do?
SAG: No, you were in my dreams [Such cheesiness should have been my cue to exit conversation but I continued to be nice]
BB: So, what do you do besides hanging out at clubs & dreaming about me?
SAG: I play with myself [That was the exact phrase he uttered - I was certainly shocked by this point]
BB: Hmm....maybe you shouldn't tell strangers that you play with yourself, especially girls.
SAG: What's wrong with that? Everyone plays with him or herself. I'm not good with girls.
BB: Umm...maybe you're not good with girls because you spend all your time playing with yourself.

I had enough of this conversation and turned to the fab girls and retold them the convo that I just had with SAG. They were as shocked as I was. For the rest of the evening, I avoided SAG.

As the girls and I were dancing and having fun, I felt someone grabbed me from behind - and it was the disgusting SAG. EWW!!!!!!! The girls, as reliable as always, came to my rescue & immediately built a wall to protect me against SAG. I was kept safely away from any further grabby hands or rude conversation from SAG.

I think I may have hit the lowest low in terms of my social interaction with the men in my cities.

Someone to watch over me

Next time I am asked the question what I seek in a guy - I shall sing to them this lovely Gershwin song which sums up all my sentiments.

There's a saying old

Says that love is blind.

Still we're often told

"Seek and ye shall find.

"So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind.

Looking ev'rywhere,

Haven't found him yet;

He's the big affair I cannot forget -

Only man I ever think of with regret.

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram.

Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longing to see:

I hope that he

Turns out to be

Someone who'll watch over me.

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood;

I know I could

Always be good

To one who'll watch over me.

Although he may not be the man some

Girls think of as handsome,

To my heart he carries the key

Don't you tell him, please, to put on some speed,

Follow my lead? Oh, how I need

Someone to watch over me.

Where are the heroes?

I had a complete wipe-out this morning on my way to walk on a busy business street. I am glad that I wasn't hurt but very disappointed that there was no hero who came to my rescue. Am I no "damsel" and therefore undeserving of some form heroic rescue from a dashing hero? Sigh - is this city completely hopeless or what?

Walk of shame or swagger of pride?

Ms. Smooth Operator sauntered into the office wearing a dress - unusually dressed up for Ms. SO who usually prefer trousers to dress. Ms. SO's boss cheekily teased "Hot date tonight, SO?" Ms SO responded "That was last night".

This situation is typically referred to the walk of shame but here in this men-deprived city, we call it the swagger of pride.

Watch the steps

I finally mustered up enough courage to go to the yuppie gym. I surprised myself - I am fitter than I gave myself credit for. As I glided down the stairs to the women's locker room, I passed a guy who avoided eye contact with me at all cost. A few steps down, I heard a plop and thud. The snooty guy missed his steps while he gave me the brush-off. There you go - I did make a guy fall for me - literally on the steps.

The Wedding Date

My mom called me earlier this evening and asked "Your cousin wants to know if she should send you a plus guest invitation to her wedding or a no-guest invitation".

Crap - the wedding is less than three months away - July 11, 2009 - the exact day of dread. I am happy that my cousin will be marrying her true love on that day; however, I am slightly concern about looking like a loser without a hot date in my arms. The wedding with be the first of my generation on my mom's side. Of course, I dream of having the most handsome, charming, and intelligent guy who can dance to accompany me to this wedding.

So, dear friends - if you know of any handsome, charming, intelligent guy who dances well that is looking to earn good karma points, please please please send him my way. I only need him July 11 & dressed in a nice suit. To repay your kindness, there is one ticket for you to the No Doubt Reunion Tour on July 18 (celebration after day of dread) - great seat.

If all else fails, perhaps I should check out imdb in search of an actor who will play the part of charming date to the wedding. (Hmm....I wonder if Robert Pattinson will still be in town shooting Twilight at that time....)

Give me Ass

My anusara classes are never boring - always entertaining. During this evening class, my lovely instructor called out "Christopher, move your right butt check to BB" (BB is yours truly - in case you have forgotten) "Christopher, don't move your ass to Tom (on your left) - move it to BB (on your right) - give her more ass". I love Anusara - even my instructor is trying to help my cause. Hahaha.

Twilight

The second movie of the Twilight series is currently filming in my city. Giving in to the heavy endorsements of the first movie by friends, I caved and read the first book of the series over the weekend. They were right - vampire can be so hot, sexy and desirable. I melted in a puddle of hopeless romanticism after reading about how heroic Edward was and how much he loves Bella - awwww..... I too wish to have a hero who loves me eternally and rescue this damsel when she is in distressed (instead of having to pick myself up).

p.s. Robert Pattinson - call me.

Silver lining

I am not getting a bonus nor a pay increase this year but at least I scored a free month of pass at the local yuppie gym. I will be ignoring the dark cloud while staring into the silver lining like a little kitty drawn to a shiny object.

The reason I got the pass was to check out the male patrons at the yuppie gym. It was as if the universe is saying "come come come on over". Haha.

Watch out male yuppie gym-ers, don't hurt yourself when I break out the "stretch".

LSC

Love, support, and cookie - according to Steve Harvey, those are the only three things one needs in a relationship (at least from the male perspective).

I must admit I agree with Mr. Harvey more so especially after a long and challenging day at work. I don't need to come home to more nagging and third degree interrogation. All I need after a long day of hard work is love, support and maybe some cookie (if I am awake). So dear men, I hear ya - the next one that comes into my life will be showered with love and support plus cookie (if I think you're deserving and don't annoy me too much).

Bathroom humour

I shall take a brief break from grace to share this with you what I learnt at dinner this evening (yeah - trust me IT is that good).

Men are like toilets. The good ones are taken. The ones that stay with you are the ones who take your shit.

Just another observation

Just another observation - I pass no judgement.

Walking to my yoga class after work today, I walked pass a male who had on lipstick and a floral top. That is not unusual in this single-female-unfriendly city that I live in. What puzzled me was that the male had obvious chin hair - one would logically think to remove chin hair before applying lipstick - no?

Shoes

Girls love shoes - that is a given. Do girls judge guys by the shoes they wear? I do recall conversations about men footwear and how the girls do judge the men by their shoes. Yesterday on my way home, I spotted one guy in Uggs and another in shoes with lifts! My oh my - what would the shoe-girls say about these two fellows?

Standards

Friends and relatives who have found their plus ones often suggest that perhaps the reason that I am without a plus one is due to the fact that my standards are way too high. Too high? I only hope to meet a plus one who shares my values and outlook in life, whom I am attracted to - someone just like me who is male. If they think this is too much to ask for, then they must think either not think much of me or think too highly of me.

Snoogle me happy

Dear Snoogle-maker,

Why oh why do you market your snooglies to the preggers only? I think you have an excellent product which has a wide appeal - thus stop limiting your products only to a specific niche market. The solo sleeper who needs some warmth & snuggly at night but are not blessed with a co-bedder can really use the comfort provided by your product, the snoogle.

Oh yeah, can you make stripes or polka dots cover as well (or at least something prettier)?

Snoogling zzzzzz....

RECESSISON

"RECESSISON" spotted on the t-shirts worn by the bartenders at the Hudson Bar. I thought that was a clever play on word. I must admit I did enjoy my stay at the Hudson and my late evenings spent dancing at the bar. What intrigued me was the kinky shower in the room - the shower visible through the glass window to the bedroom. How fun it could have been? Sigh - my prudeness got the better of me.

Gossip Men

Overheard at the neighbourhood drugstore today, two grown male employees of the store gossiping about a May-December couple in the store.

Male Employee 1: Is that the older sister or the mom?
Male Employee 2: They have the same look.
Male Employee 1: Whatever it is - she is doing him in the bedroom for sure.
Male Employee 2: Well, good for her - err and him too.

I was trying very hard to contain my laughter. Very nice to know that men gossip too.

Ooh Damn

Dear guys,

Listen to Ne-Yo - he's the man. I'm impressed with his suave ways.

http://globalgrind.com/content/464175/A-Window-Into-Suaveness/

XOXO
BB

Age rule: Divide by 2 Plus 7

I was thrilled when yoga teacher extraordinaire, Chris Chavez, gave me permission to knock off eight years from my real age for doing a pose at the yoga workshop. Yippee - I'm under 25 again!

Well, the point of this post is not exactly to toot my own yogic horn but to ponder the question of age - does age really matter in mates? Based on the age rule of divide by two plus seven, my dating age range is between 23 and 50. Funny enough, I had been (sorta) asked out by a 24 year old as well as a 49 year old in the past six months.

Out dancing in the City last Friday, I was in awe of the dancing prowess and physical hotness of my dancing partner of that evening. Lo & behold my dancing partner whom I thought was around my age turned out to be 49! I was floored when he revealed his age to me. Me being me, of course, proceeded to ask "OMG - you don't look your age at all. I thought you are way younger. Did you have any work done?"